“Choices and Mistakes: Try; Take Chances; and Learn From Life.”

York Country Day School

Senior Graduation Diner

Thank you for the honor of addressing you tonight. Although I was a bit surprised, by the invitation, since rarely did any of you listen to me during class. I guess the old adage, with age comes wisdom must be in play with the invitation; either that or everybody else turned you down since you finally believe me that I have the secret; the great insights into life. Unfortunately, this adage actually doesn’t apply for me, for although you are certainly wiser, I am simply older, and unfortunately, no wiser.

My wife laughed pretty hard when I told her of this speech, probably since I have always been a perpetual student and in her opinion know very little of, as she puts it “the real world.” So I guess my advice for you in the future would be this….stay in school! College, Graduate School, Medical School, Law School, Hair Styling school; Auto-Mechanic school…whatever, get every degree possible! Why? Because once you hit the “real world” they make you do things like go to work and do something! If for no other reason to do well in college, do well to get into another school and avoid this scary thing called—the world. (ha)

Seriously, your life has changed. You may not believe me today, but I guarantee in a few days you will. Because until Friday things, although pretty hectic will be quite normal for this time of year. You and your parents will be worrying about your final grades, volunteer hours (by the way my office needs a good dusting); and graduation party preparations. However, around oh, 6:37 pm, while you’re at your graduation parties, your Aunt Edna will approach you. You’ll be expecting the same old conversation like, “So how is school going?” “Who’s your favorite teacher” (an easy one even if you couldn’t spell my name); “Do you have all your volunteer hours done, because my living room could sure you a good dusting”; and for some of you “I can’t believe you graduated. See Saul, I told you he would make it.” But Life Has Changed. Rather than the old, expected questions you’ll be socked with “SO NOW WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?”

There it is, my friends. For the next four years (and for those of who take my earlier advice, (the next 6, 8, 10…after ten your on your own so don’t come looking to me for any words of wisdom) you will be answering that one question…So now what! So now what are you going to be doing? What are your career goals? What about marriage? What do you want to do with your life [This one can be easily answered with, “I want to Rock!” But unless you’re wearing an Ozzy Ozzbourne Blizzard of Oz shirt or dressed as Twisted Sister, I don’t think it will work well, and may actually put poor Aunt Edna in the hospital so I neither endorse not condemn it.]

We have all been confronted with that questions. What are you going to do now? For me the moment came from my engineer trained father…“History! What are you going to do with that degree” [Right Mr. L, didn’t we hear that]

As my friend Bill Shakespear once told me, “Ah! But there’s the Rub…” YOU will now have an awesome power and, unfortunately responsibility, you never had before….The Power to Choose for yourself!! Choice!

Now you will get to choose everything! For the last 4 years others have really dictated to you (don’t be fooled fool, we did it…we got you through…oh sure you’re the ones who studied, played sports, studied, put up with our temper tantrums because we had a fight with our spouses and, not having the power to win an argument at home, gave you a pop quiz on the Alphabet Soup of FDR’s New Deal program just to make me….urm’ us feel better; studied; dusted faculty rooms for volunteer hours; studied; and, oh, by the way had a life.) See, after all that fun, four years have simply flown by. Well, guess what? Each of you now has the power to to choose what to do and not to do. Sure you will choose the biggies…like majoring in fields such as Education; Business; Medieval History or even earning a Ph.D. in Philosophy [try explaining those two to your parents]

Don’t get me wrong, we, your parents, former teachers, and friends, will always be there for guidance, but the decisions are yours, as are the consequences. Like, (oh I don’t know about three weeks into college you will come to that pivotal moment we have all experienced…the 7:00am alarm for the 8:00 class! “To go or not to go. That’s the question.” There it is. Adulthood. Do you really need to go to Western Civilization I at 8:00 in the morning. Nothing Augustus Caesar did could be that important! Hopefully, you will make the right decisions, because we will not be there. There is no detention for being tardy, no classroom sweeping for chewing gum, no losing senior privileges for cutting school. Nothing will happen to you. You must decide. [BTW, breakfasts are usually the better of the cafeteria meals and Yes, Augustus is worth getting up for.]

The choices are yours. That is the best insight I can give you. Knowing each of you I’m confident you will often make the right choices. But, you know what? Making the wrong choices is not the end of the world as long as you learn from those mistakes. If you learn from a mistake; it was no mistake at all, simple a learning experience. If you don’t learn; well it was just plain old dumb. Do not be afraid of making a mistakes. Mistakes are how we become who we are. How we become the adults we will become. If it comes easy nothing is gained; only through the struggle do we grow. Try different things, make new friends, discover new experiences, and yes make mistakes, and by doing so grow to become more fully human.

I guess, after rambling for so long…hey you asked me… that is my best advice. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you not to do something, because it is not guaranteed and to them it “is a mistake.” There are only three guarantees in life: Death, Taxes, and cleaning Mr. Daughton’s room if he catches you chewing gum. Do what you like. Learn what you are interested in; have a passion for; and make a difference with your gifts and opportunities. Whether you end up majoring in Education, business, or god-bless you Medieval History…do it. Whatever you choose; do it with every ounce of your being and be proud of yourself. Hold your head up high and say that’s right, I do know pick-up lines in Classical Latin and am proud of it….[Quo signo nata es—So, What’s your sign?]

However, don’t be fooled into believing the clichéd adage that everyone can be anything they choose. If you do not have a passion for what you are studying it is difficult to do well; let alone master it. I CAN NOT be a Doctor; unless of course they want one who failed Chemistry and really doesn’t like the sight of blood. But you, and only you, knows what inspires you; what will actually get you to that 8am class on Friday mornings. For me and for many of my collogues that was you, our students, and now our friends. Again, it is your choice. Don’t let others influence you. Be yourself. Never compromise yourself; your integrity.

Everyone in this room wishes they could be right where you are [in only a few days you will receive your graduation presents!] Seriously, the best is yet to come; trust me I spent as much time as possible in school. I don’t really remember the Medieval Latin, lectures on the Twelfth-Century Renaissance, or historiography courses, but I do remember the experiences, both good and bad and the life-long friendships which I forged in school; with people just like me, interested in what I was interested in….and, trust me, we had a good time. This in no way diminishes the friendships, experiences, and memories of your days at YCDS. These you will always have, but there is a lifetime of experiences to discover and Oh!, what a journey it will be.

So when I if I see you next September or October, please don’t be offended when I say “Go Away!,” because all I’m doing is reminding you to experience the present and future; and not re-live the past. We will be here; trust me. Mrs. Gross and Mr. Shanner will be hounding you enough about your desire to support your Alma Mater and come home (with your checkbook); and trust me, in a few weeks you’ll be telling them the same thing you’ll be telling your family, “Mom, stop bothering me I told you I’ll see you at Christmas!”

Take this opportunity to live the experiences you’ll never, never get the chance to live again. New and diverse friends; completely useless, but enjoyable classes of your choosing (of which your parents are paying for); Freshmen snipe hunts; Denny’s at 3am; Weekend trips which last a week; and friendships which spring-up over a game of pool or waiting in a three-hour line at the Student Union for 11pm pizza…Your New Life; A Life of Your Choosing.

Rest assured when you do return we’ll be here; we’ll give you a hug; talk with you as long-lost friends talk, and we’ll secretly be envious of you. Of your opportunities, your experiences, the choices you have before you. But more than anything we’ll, your parents, friends, and teachers, will be proud of ourselves for our roles in helping to guide and sending forth, such outstanding young men and women…Young adults who will one day guide the future of, not just themselves, but my son and his generation; our country; our world.

Speaking for your former teachers and now simply, your friends, I think we’re in good hands. And I look forward to saying, in the future, Welcome Home and Good Choice. Congratulations, best wishes, and Godspeed, my friends.